so i guess it only makes sense to write in this journal, according to forefox anyway, lol...just a heads up: one of my faults is spelling, i cant spell near at all...I want to make it clear who exactly karakum is...he is me, only in scarecrow form. The best way to describe him and myself (Karakum from here out in will be another name for myself) is a walking contradiction. He is intelligent in the most unique ways, yet incredibly ADHD and ADD, so this fact is rarely displayed. Karakum is both serious and focused, and also incredibly spacey. I mean spacey in two different meanings. The first; he is usually in his head, which gives the impression that he is of questionable intelligence and sobriety (this last notion usually is more true than false, however). Due to this, people often underestimate what he hears and sees, and would never imagine the countless times when he has the answer, and just decides to remain silent. The second, Karakum, like me, is bipolar. One moment he will be confident and happy and a-ok, the next he will be angry, or depressed, or both, and literally need a lot of space. These bouts can be fatal, or harming, but he tries to contain them to only himself, because he feels its not fair to bog someone else down with his psychotic issues. Karakum tries to conform to a set of ethics and conduct that he has established, but finds himself failing at times. To this, he is overcritical. Out of all critics to his existence, he is the most severe. Becoming aware of this, he has recently re-avaluated his perspective on society. Despite his unique and numerous gifts, he is still mortal, and thus he decides that is insane to put himself to such high standards, standards that no one can meet up to. Karakum enjoys exercise, specifically sword-training. He also does enjoy smoking (cigs and bud) despite the obvious problems associated with it. While somewhat physically fit, Karakum's true passion is metaphysics, and discovering how to alter the rules of this reality to enhance his life, and perhaps the lives of those he sees worthwhile. So while most would percieve him most of the time as daydreaming, few would ever suspect that he is in truth astral-projecting to the akashic records and to various planes, or trying to take "mind-over-matter" to the next level. Karakum, at first impression seems loud, abnoxious, scary, creepy, abrassive, and/or intimidating, but in truth is rather fragile on the inside, despite his impervious outer-exterior. Of course i mean that in a figurative, emotional, sense, because we are all literally, physically, fragile on the inside. Once gotten past the scary appearence, one would find Karakum actually, more or less, a kind soul. He can be very nice. However, like all people, Karakum has a dark side. Besides minor shortcomings, Karakum has done things most could not bare. Due to some of these actions, he knows all to well the forces surrounding us, particularly demons. Though tainted by both actions beyond his control and of his own doing, Karakum strives to move past them, despite hearing screams non-stop of horrid things, from outside and from inside him. He knows all too well what dwells deep in his heart, in the recesses of his mind, and struggles to contain it. But from this, Karakum grows stronger, more able, and more complete second-by-second. The zodiacs Libra and the cusp of Scorpio help to define his emotions and personality.